The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer

[Spanky_McCoy]

The McCoy name goes back many generations there was Atilla McCoy, Alexander the Great McCoy and of course Farmer McCoy who invented crinkly crisps. The tale of Spanky McCoy starts in 1977 born to an engineer and a chef he was one of three children all brought up to be a bit sneaky in the morals department.

Present day and Spanky McCoy with his trusted technical director known only as Middenrat are overseeing the repairs to the SpankyTech Bullet, called bullet because Lord McCoy ricocheted it off a tyre wall and into the river thames during a demonstration of motoring down the ages, the court case is still to be heard.

Middenrat: Gaffer I do not know why we are bothering to put this piece of crap back together you know you'll never drive it again, in fact you get bored with any racing series after one race.
McCoy: Rat my good man it's not for me you're spending thousands of man hours repairing this, it's for my adoring public. Do you want to see little Billy down the kids hospital disappointed because there is no SpankyTech Bullet in the McCoy museum.
Middenrat: Gaffer you put him in the hospital when you got pissed drove the bullet past thousands of spectators at 180 lost control hit the tyre wall and your spoiler came off and the shrapnel got stuck in his leg.
McCoy: Details Rat mere details, anyway if you keep harping on I'll use your salary to pay off the judge.
Middenrat: Gaffer you're getting cheap
McCoy: Enough of this banter Rat old boy, I have a new challenge for SpankyTech racing

(a collective groan runs around the vast garage)

McCoy: Rat we're going to Formula 1.
Middenrat: Oh not again gaffer

To be continued
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[CRJ 127]

I love " Spanky World ", can't wait to see how Ecclestone cope's, with the new racer in town..........lol.
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[Spanky_McCoy]

[bunsenjetson]

Spanky has committed lunicide again ... lol!

[Middenrat]

i'm just thrilled to be part of Spankyworld
when do i get the cheque?
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Skin by Baino

[Spanky_McCoy]

[Racer_X]

I'll post a reply when I stop laughing my fool head off!!!

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Out of gas and 4 flat tires, Ain't this day starting off good!?!

[Spanky_McCoy]

After his decision to enter F1 SpankyTech racing must find money to develop the car. Middenrat has formulated a plan that involves merchandising.

Solihull Odeon a damp Tuesday morning, the assorted drunks, unemployed and junkies are sitting down to watch the latest installment in the Bourne trilogy. The screen lights up, it's the adverts, up on screen "coming soon" is emblazoned in firey letters. Spanky and Middenrat are standing in the centre of shot.

Spanky: If you buy one racing game this year make it Spanky McCoy's Racing Simulator 08.

Middenrat: You too can immerse yourself in the world of SpankyTech racing, with all the elements of work that a technical director like me has to do everyday. Like............waking the gaffer up, sobering the gaffer up and paying off kiss and tell totty he met in China Whites.

Spanky: You also get to race on some of the greatest circuits in the world like.....Nurburgring, Hockenheim, Monaco, Silverstone and Croydon High street.

Middenrat: So why spend £39.99 on Need for Speed when you can spend £69.99 on the total simulation experience of Spanky McCoy's racing simulator.

Spanky: £67.99 goes to charity so have some fun and do your bit for the less fortunate.

Across the screen "coming soon" appears again right at the bottom of the screen in tiny writing "£67.99 will be paid to SpankyTech racing registered charity in Botswana"

At the front of the cinema Spanky and Middenrat are sitting taking in their advert for the first time.

Spanky: Rat old boy it's like taking candy from a baby, now lets watch the cash roll in and build me a winning car. Give us some popcorn I haven't eaten yet today.
Middenrat: Gaffer you are going straight to hell and get your own popcorn you're the millionaire.
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[Middenrat]

sounds like excellent value Spanky. I'll be selling copies and merchandise from Midden's Infield Kebab & Burger Stand at tracks i fall off!
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Skin by Baino

[Spanky_McCoy]

SpankyTech racing has been embroiled in a spying row. McLaren of all people accuse them of stealing the design to the 2008 car.

McCoy and Middenrat are appearing at a FIA hearing.

Max Mosley and several other less powerful gentlemen are sitting behind a large oak table they all have microphones. McCoy and Middenrat are sat behind a small desk, McCoy has his feet up on the desk.

Mosley: Lord McCoy I don't quite understand why you are challenging the £50million fine for want of a better term you were caught red handed.
McCoy: How so old bean?
Mosley: (rage building) God damnit man your technical director sat right beside you was caught escaping out the McLaren office toilet window with design schematics and external hard drives.
McCoy: (looks at Rat) He told me he was on a visitors trip and he was trying to return them, Ron Dennis should be thanking the man.
French representative: Lord McCoy do you seriously expect us to accept zis version of events.
McCoy: Listen Frenchie if it wasn't for Grandpappa McCoy you'd most likely be speaking German and playing oompa music, ungrateful swine.

The collected members of the FIA roar in disapproval.

Mosley: Lord McCoy you have presented no evidence that the SpankyTech 69er isn't based on the McLaren 2008 car.
McCoy: Does it look like the Ferrari 2008 car?.
Mosley: Ehm yes it does.
McCoy: Case closed old bean my man here didn't copy Dennis's go kart then did he.
Mosley: But you copied Ferrari's
McCoy: But we're not on trial for that are we.
Mosley: Lord McCoy for not only copying McLarens copy of the ferrari car but copying the original Ferrari we lay down the revised fine of £100m.
McCoy: Egads man do you not realise that I can't take Lady McCoy for her usual 6 months in San Tropez now.
Mosley: She'll survive.
McCoy: You ain't met her old bean.

The committee adjourns and the press surround Middenrat and McCoy.

CNN: Lord McCoy how will you raise the £100m fine?
McCoy: Sell Milton Keynes old chap
BBC: Mr Rat how do you feel that the design for the SpankyTech 69er has been exposed as a fraud?.
Rat: Eh well the gaffer told me to say no comment to everything until he releases me family safe and well.
ITN: Lord McCoy will you have a revised car on the starting grid for the 2008 season.
McCoy: Course I will, I've just bought Ferrari.

To be continued...........................maybe.
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[CRJ 127]

Great to hear from Spanky World again, needed a fix Ta : )
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[Middenrat]

the gaffer's adventures roxX
ps ive got a few souvenir McLaren, er, acquisitions for the discerning collector, including Alonso's old rattle and dummy, see me at the Burger Stand
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Skin by Baino

[bunsenjetson]

lols. Your talents are wasted doing ... whatever it is you do ...

[JawZ]

slow day, where ever he works...

[bunsenjetson]

I don't think he works. I think he sits in a rocking chair all day with a blanket on his lap, occasionally laughing to himself then jotting something down. Every hour or so a nurse comes along and pokes him. The nurse is Dale Winton.

[Spanky_McCoy]

[Spanky_McCoy]

[bunsenjetson]

[Middenrat]

[CRJ 127]